Anxieties Amplified

Inside my hostess’ daughter Rana and daughter-in-law Bahia are chatting with friends, as forty screaming orphans and other screaming kids are playing and screaming on a set of indoor bounce houses in a restaurant.

I am outside in a neighboring coffee shop where the Arabic pop music matches the traffic noise. After a half-hour my migraine and panic attacks are settling down.

I was hoping this vacation would help me overcome some barriers. But I’m learning with screaming kids, it is like an oil and water issue. We just don’t mix well.

Also tonight I was introduced to a tall good looking family friend, who apparently is Lebanon’s most famous basketball player- Ismail Ahmed. 

I’ve been in Toastmasters for ten years, I’ve competed at impromptu speaking contests. I’ve followed the NBA’s Sacramento Kings for thirty years- surely I could come up with something intelligent and complimentary.

Instead I say, “Forgive my ignorance, I have no idea who you are.”

It takes skills to master my continual ineptitude around good looking men.  My friend says he is married, so I was shooting a brick where there was no basket.

On this vacation, I was hoping  I could develop more confidence being around screaming kids or good looking guys, however tonight proved my anxieties are as amplified as the call to prayer from a nearby mosque- and I don’t speak Arabic either.

The work in progress that is me, anxieties and all- continues.


Author: Kristi Beres

Wanderer, observer, prone to occasional bouts of snark and sarcasm.

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